Friday, May 4, 2012

May 4, 2012

An idea of a rather horrible realization have dawned upon me when I have thought of what it was actually like to feel lonely. I know there had been so many perceptions and explanations around and I have even said my own piece for the respective subject in the past but I have always been so eager throughout whenever this is always being brought upon. And maybe, this is one of those times that I have finally figured it all out with an adult point of view. Loneliness, for me, is a state of mental illness one holds no complete authority or any cure for. It always has its stinging feeling that goes down beneath our skins and slides down to our very bones, and sometimes, we would never know how much it is actually hurting until it demands us to have it felt. And sure it gives us no pain coming from a physical damage or sudden impacts but the antagonizing effect brought through the emotional approach beats the hell of all the physical pain combined. It knocks us off our feet and sometimes, it tests our threshold for pain that eventually dictates us how much we’re surviving through the times of torturing. It makes us loathe ourselves while at the same trying to think of a way on how are we gonna get through the hell of it all. But this has always been a rather inescapable temporary prison of some sort. And you can never get out until it declares that it’s finally done with you. So we try to keep ourselves sane, think of the other things and will ourselves away from it. But no matter how hard we try to do the best that we can, it keeps haunting us over and over again. So being the humans we are, we sometimes cross the line to insanity and go through the edge of our madness. And this horrible realization sometimes makes us think how awful we’ve gone throughout the course of time. It gives us the sense of disgust toward ourselves, makes us sick of our lives and we eventually develop the hate and envy towards the people around us who are not lonely. So at some points we grow weary and desperate of our lives that we eventually lose hope of getting through the phase of loneliness. But things are always temporary, so maybe, we only have to keep moving, continue embracing the painful truth and live with it, and when the time comes that it sets us free, that’s when we set no standards in our lives and allow every single person in.

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